But what's not to love? It's people running around and hitting each other and climbing on things and hitting each other and swinging on rings and shooting Nerf arrows and hitting each other! People tell me that's it's stupid. Of course it's stupid! That's the point!
If it helps those of you who do not appreciate American Gladiators (for shame!), but would like to start (good for you!), the key may be to pick a contender and root for him or her. That way, you can yell at your TV things like, "He fell down! Run! RUN!" "Come ON! Dodge the wrecking balls! DODGE THEM!" or "You SUCK at the handbike! JUST FALL DOWN!" (Although, in all fairness, everyone sucks at the handbike.) Also, my sister came up with something to say for when the contendors and blathering about their kids or their moms or whatever (snoozefest!); I wanted a variation on "Less chat, more hat!" so she suggested, "Less sound, more pound!"
What a great show.
However, I do some critiques of New American Gladiators as opposed to the Classic version. I do enjoy most of the new events, particularly Hit and Run--the contenders have to run down a sway-prone bridge while dodging the shiny polyester "demolition balls" that various Gladiators swing at them. It's like a human video game!
(Possibly the best part about Hit and Run is that it gives Hellga something to do. Hellga: great name, not that good at gladiating.)
However, some of the new events are just too hard. It just really isn't possible for a 175 pound man to climb a gym-mat pyramid when a 245-pound man comes down from the top to tackle him (over and over and over). Also, they tweaked some original events that were plenty hard already to make them more challenging. Assault did not need to be harder, but they added the unnecessary dimension of hiding ammunition to use against the gladiator in a sandbox. (This seems even goofier than it is because it always reminds me of The Marble in the Oatmeal:
).
I also think they ought to ease up on the difficulty of the Eliminator when next season comes around (note my blithe assurance that next season will indeed come around). For instance, there's the part near the beginning where they have to dive into the water and swim under some sort of platform of fire. As hard as it is for me to argue against fire, the swimming seems to take it out of the contenders to a degree that their weariness makes the Eliminator less interesting. I had to boo heartily tonight when the chicks just gave up at the Travelator. Come on! How many times in life do you get to run The Eliminator? Suck it up!
As my final critique, I must ask NBC the question they cannot outrun, no matter how they try: where are the hamster balls?!? No rounds of Atlasphere so far? What's the problem?
Maybe I'll start a petition.
5 comments:
http://media.www.lsureveille.com/media/storage/paper868/news/2008/01/22/Opinion/american.Gladiators.A.Benefit.Of.Writers.Strike-3159555.shtml
That was in our school paper today, and obviously I thought of you. =)
Hmm...let me know if that link didn't come through all the way, and I'll email it to you...
How much do I love that you created the word "gladiating"?
First of all, I LOVE that American Gladiators has returned. I thought I'd add some of my own critique. I agree that Hellga seems intimidating, but she is less than awesome, and I also miss the Atlasphere, it was one of my favorites. I happen to get ESPN Classic on my digital cable, and I watched a classic American Gladiators episode last night. Apparently they had just revamped the Eliminator and added the head start based on points and some other new elements on this episode Sidenote, I thoroughly enjoy people falling into water often in the new version...the classic version just had the contestants falling onto a mat during the Joust. Now back to the Eliminator. Classic version had the Travelator first with no rope to help, and the contestants seemed to be able to function ok, plus both of the men made it through the handbike and one woman also...most likely because it was earlier in the sequence. I liked in the classic version that the Gladiators were involved a bit. Like if you fell off the handbike you were detained by a Gladiator for 10 seconds. It made it worth it to try to finish it rather than just fall and run. I really do like the swimming under fire segment, and I think it should stay (next season). I think the contestants have more trouble with the rope ladder than the swimming. Also, I'm not sure if I just watched a good episode, but the classic contestants didn't seem to have as many problems with the Eliminator. I've seen so many wipe outs and "catch my breath" breaks that it's kinda embarrassing. Maybe the Eliminator is just that much harder now, but I don't know. Regardless, American Gladiators is awesome, and it should remain on tv.
I agree that the new contestants have much, much bigger problems with the Eliminator--that's why I pin the being too hard on the swimming, since it's the only major element that's new. Also, you're right about the Gladiators being involved--there's no penalty for falling off that rolling thing AT ALL, so why do people even bother to do it?
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