As Ever, Weird Al Rules.

I know I should have brought this up sooner, but let me tell you about last week's episode of The Simpsons.

That's right--Weird Al had a cameo, again. Unfortunately, it was a cameo in the truest sense of the word, being all too brief. Homer invented grunge music, you see (it was a flashback episode), and Weird Al parodied his song. Amusingly, the fake parody was totally lame and nonsensical and involved food in some fashion--it was a parody of Al's parody. Well played, The Simpsons, well played.

I also feel I should note how good a sport Weird Al is for singing the bad song.

Possibly the best thing about Weird Al's cameo came after his cartoon form had left the screen. Homer, all depressed (which is why he invented grunge music, of course), not even cheered up by the parody, muses on his lowly state, acknowledging, "He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." How true.

The good line leads me to the most surprising thing about the episode--it was actually good. I don't know how long it's been since I've seen a first-run Simpsons that I've enjoyed, but safe to say? A long time. I mean, there was single, cohesive plot; the jokes were funny instead of lazy and random; and it was character-driven instead of cram-every-one-note-bit-character-in-there . . . driven. I was so pleasantly surprised that I even watched the episode that came on after the Weird Al one, and discovered that it was pretty good, too. It had the latter-day-Simpsons banes of the totally unrelated B-plot and of "Homer makes up a song! Because he's always done that all the time! Remember?!?" However, the B-plot was introduced in minute 2 instead of minute 15, unlike many newer episodes I've seen, and the "Homer sings!" was . . . not as annoying as it could have been.

In short, the good news is A: The Simpsons has apparently turned a corner, back toward being halfway decent television and B: Weird Al continues to ROCK MY FACE OFF.

Monday Nights Have Gotten 175% More Awesome

I just can't understand why people keep hating on American Gladiators. My roommate was just plain perplexed that I fully intended to watch it tonight, and of course on this blog entry, the first two comments are disclaimers about my love of the show.

But what's not to love? It's people running around and hitting each other and climbing on things and hitting each other and swinging on rings and shooting Nerf arrows and hitting each other! People tell me that's it's stupid. Of course it's stupid! That's the point!

If it helps those of you who do not appreciate American Gladiators (for shame!), but would like to start (good for you!), the key may be to pick a contender and root for him or her. That way, you can yell at your TV things like, "He fell down! Run! RUN!" "Come ON! Dodge the wrecking balls! DODGE THEM!" or "You SUCK at the handbike! JUST FALL DOWN!" (Although, in all fairness, everyone sucks at the handbike.) Also, my sister came up with something to say for when the contendors and blathering about their kids or their moms or whatever (snoozefest!); I wanted a variation on "Less chat, more hat!" so she suggested, "Less sound, more pound!"

What a great show.

However, I do some critiques of New American Gladiators as opposed to the Classic version. I do enjoy most of the new events, particularly Hit and Run--the contenders have to run down a sway-prone bridge while dodging the shiny polyester "demolition balls" that various Gladiators swing at them. It's like a human video game!









(Possibly the best part about Hit and Run is that it gives Hellga something to do. Hellga: great name, not that good at gladiating.)






However, some of the new events are just too hard. It just really isn't possible for a 175 pound man to climb a gym-mat pyramid when a 245-pound man comes down from the top to tackle him (over and over and over). Also, they tweaked some original events that were plenty hard already to make them more challenging. Assault did not need to be harder, but they added the unnecessary dimension of hiding ammunition to use against the gladiator in a sandbox. (This seems even goofier than it is because it always reminds me of The Marble in the Oatmeal:

).

I also think they ought to ease up on the difficulty of the Eliminator when next season comes around (note my blithe assurance that next season will indeed come around). For instance, there's the part near the beginning where they have to dive into the water and swim under some sort of platform of fire. As hard as it is for me to argue against fire, the swimming seems to take it out of the contenders to a degree that their weariness makes the Eliminator less interesting. I had to boo heartily tonight when the chicks just gave up at the Travelator. Come on! How many times in life do you get to run The Eliminator? Suck it up!

As my final critique, I must ask NBC the question they cannot outrun, no matter how they try: where are the hamster balls?!? No rounds of Atlasphere so far? What's the problem?

Maybe I'll start a petition.

The Wonder That Is Ugly Betty

I've had a great Ugly Betty evening. But how could any Ugly Betty evening be otherwise?

Tonight's episode was a great example of how I am such a sucker for this show. Claire is innocent?! Yayyyy! Gio ever-more-pathetically in love with Betty?! Awwwwww! Cristina agrees to carry Wilhemina's baby?! Gasp! (OK, I saw that coming from roughly 14 miles away. But still! That's baby's going to be so evil! I know we're all pumped.)

Just as delightful was the preview, which let me know--we're not out of episodes yet! (This writers' strike is going to kill me. Give in, producers! Come on.)

In celebration, after the new episode, I busted out my Christmas present of Ugly Betty: Season One and watched the pilot. Oh, Ugly Betty, how you have changed in 1 and 3/4ths seasons.




Things I miss about Betty of the Past:

Pre-pubescent Justin--so cuuuuuute! (Not that post-pubescent Justin isn't fabulous, because he is.)

Scenes from the telenovela the Suarezes watch.

America Ferrera's hair. They let her wear either her own hair or a much nicer wig in the pilot. I suppose they thought that the horrible wig would make up for the several pounds she appears to have lost since then. (I miss those pounds, too. Those are pounds Betty would have in real life.)












Things I don't miss, and am glad have been dispensed with in Betty of the Present:

Marc's hair. (And makeup. [And wardrobe.])

Walter. (Ewwwwwwww. Betty, what were you thinking?)

Betty deciding she should quit Mode every episode. (Now it's, what? Every third episode?)






(Sidenote: whilst watching Episode 3, I spotted America's Next Top Model's most recent winner, you know, what'sherface. She was a snooty model who rode an elevator with Betty and smirked at the insults Amanda shot at her. Mercifully, she had no lines.)

Ultimately, though, the things that make Ugly Betty wonderful are the things that have stayed the same.

The schemes upon schemes cooked up by the villains and the heroes.

The way it makes you empathize with almost every single character, no matter how good or evil he or she or he/she is supposed to be--one thing I just adore about the character of Wilhemina is how she implements all these devious and hurtul plans to take over the magazine, but the show is brave enough to show that she would be a better editor than Daniel. WAY better. (It makes me want her to succeed.)

And above all, the enthusiastic embrace of its own soapiness and silliness. Only a show this smart could be this good at being stupid.